What’s your Unique Change Process?

If it feels messy, chaotic, and uncomfortable… you’re doing it right! This is your Unique Change Process!

Last week, we had the monthly Huddle for my 1-1 clients and, gentle reader, it was frickin’ awesome. One of the best calls we’ve ever had. I brought the fire (Neptune in Aries for the WIN!!) and so did they and we all left motivated, inspired, and ready to DO. BIG. THINGS!!!

Within 48 hours, I started getting messages expressing frustration and stuckness and doubt… and every other negative emotion you could imagine.

Which sounds bad, right? I mean, doesn’t it mean something went horribly wrong if there was this sudden downturn after a wicked potentiality opening session?

No.

Nope, not at all.

And that’s the key so stick with me here.

One of the things we teach in NLP is that we all have ‘strategies’ for getting things done. Our Strategies are our HOW – the how of how we make change.

And, after 15 years of doing this work full-time, I can tell you that, for almost all of us, our ‘natural’ Strategy looks something like:

repress – repress – repress – … – repress – EXPLODE!!!

And that’s how we do change. 🤦🏽‍♀️

(‘natural’ is in quote marks because this isn’t how we’re Soul-designed to engage with change, it only feels natural because it’s our default conditioning – how we’re programmed to do change)

Tell me if you’ve lived this pattern? Something starts niggling at us:

💜 a behaviour that no longer works, either in us or in someone close to us

💜 we see something happening that we want to speak up about

💜 we get a Soul nudge and know that we’re meant for more

💜 our body starts to buckle under the pressure of do-do-do and asks for a different way…

… and we ignore it. We repress it. We get busy doing other things. We eat to numb.

We do. not. engage. because there are voices inside of us telling us that it isn’t ‘worthwhile’ or ‘important enough’ or ‘who do you think you are’ or maybe that it’s not ‘safe’ and we’re doing just ‘fine’, thank you very much.

Except we’re not doing fine, are we? And so the pressure builds, as inevitably as the boiling pot builds up steam under the lid.

And as it builds we get crankier, or more self-destructive, or more obsessive, or whatever our unique ‘not gonna’ Strategy looks like.

And it builds and builds and builds until it explodes and we rage or weep or move into a flurry of activity… again, whatever our unique ‘fuck it, let’s do this’ Strategy looks like.

And that, m’love, is your Unique Change Process: somehow, you get from ‘not gonna’ to ‘fuck it, let’s do this’ and it can take weeks, months, or decades, depending on how good you are at repression.

So… it actually makes total sense that my clients were sending me these messages because…

…they were in the midst of change. Real change. Smooshing themselves up against the edge of their Comfort Zone and challenging long-held beliefs about who they are, what they’re capable of, and what is safe.

Real change isn’t elegant and graceful and smooth.

Real change involves chaos and fear and refusing to give into life-long patterns of self-repression and denial.

It’s a big. fucking. deal.

And, yes, using techniques, and over time, we do get better at change. We can tweak the Strategy and create something healthier and do things differently.

Moreover, the work we do together helps us become the people who are comfortable with discomfort. We expand our capacity to ‘sit in the sizzle’, as I’ve named it, and allow the miracle to unfurl through our neurology.

The very good news is that, on the other side of the discomfort and chaos and fear, there is this entirely new level of joy, peace, and contentment and it is so worth getting there.

By the weekend, most of my clients had made it through the drama and had up-leveled the way they were showing up in their lives and businesses, focusing the sizzle they’d endured to create magick in a whole new way.

Which is the very best. Instead of suffering for weeks, months, or decades, they were through the bifurcation point in less than 72 hours. Rock on!!

So, today, ask yourself:

🔥 What does ‘real’ change look like for me?

🔥 What are my favourite repress-repress-repress-explode techniques?

🔥 How’s it working for me?

🔥 What would I like it to look like instead?

🔥 What am I currently repressing, right now? What am I trying to pretend isn’t happening?

🔥 And how long have I been banging up against that bifurcation point and not making it through?

Really dig into it and see what’s percolating there at the edge of your Comfort Zone. Where has your Unique Change Process gotten stuck?

And, if you’re feeling brave, share with me what you’ve discovered and how you’re feeling about it.

Finally, if you know that you do not want to walk through this alone (because… YUCK!!), please book a Discovery Session and we’ll explore the truth about where you are and see what is ready to come next.

It’s so much better to change the world together. You do not have to do it all alone, not anymore.

And if you have any questions or thoughts, reply to this email and let me know.

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PS: You know you’re standing at the edge of something.

That restless energy, the irritation, the sense that you can’t go back to how things were… it’s not a problem to fix. It’s an initiation.

If you want skilled, loving guidance through your Unique Change Process – and any needed nudges to the patookus – while you cross this threshold, book a Discovery Session. We’ll map what’s ready to move and how to do it without blowing up your life.

Fill out the application here for a complimentary Discovery Session, where we’ll get clear on your next steps, together. 😘